Before going into how to deal with insecurities, let me use a poem to describe them:
Lament – Damned Insecurities
Choking me when I’m trying to talk,
paralyzing me when I’m trying to walk.
Gagging me when I need to speak up,
Binding me when I need to stand up.
Keeping me locked up in prison when I long to spread my wings,
making me hide away when my light needs to shine.
Lulling me into leaden laziness when I need to help out,
Clouding my brain with confusion when I need to make a point.
Seductive and sneaky,
ruling your universe.
So, This is What Insecurities Do to You
Insecurities can stop you from living a fulfilled life and using all your talents. Crippling you, they stop you from doing all sorts of stuff and may stop you from interacting with others. So, how do you deal with your insecurities and where do they come from? Here’s some information on how to deal with insecurities:
According to Psychology Today, insecurities have three main sources:
- Social Anxiety: You find it difficult and stressful to go to social gatherings because you fear rejection. Afraid that people will think badly of you, you get even more insecure and may not wish to attend any type of social gathering.
- Perfectionism: You’re a perfectionist and are afraid your performance won’t be up to scratch. Fear of failure feeds insecurities further.
- Past Traumas and Rejection: Negative experiences can deepen your insecurities or cause them in the first instance.
Many people also find that negative self-talk can make you feel more insecure than you normally would.
How to Deal with Insecurities
The first and most important step is to recognize your insecurities and resolve to tackle them. Remind yourself that you are in charge of your own life and can change behavioural patterns. The second and just as important step is to work on the relationship you have with yourself. Observe your thoughts and see whether you’re kind to yourself in your thoughts or not.
Do you expect perfection from yourself? Do you engage in constant negative self-talk? Do you acknowledge your talents and good deeds? Do you recognize that you’re bound to fail and make mistakes sometimes? Do you try to express your uniqueness?
Be your own best friend, evaluate your good points and find areas where you could improve. Pat yourself on the back when you do something good and try again when you’ve failed.
Have a Realistic Self-Image and Cut Yourself Some Slack
If you were to take a bird’s eye view of yourself, you recognize who you truly are. You’ve got lots of talents and some weaknesses, just like everybody else. In your thoughts, be balanced, neither falsely talking yourself up nor down.
There’s No One Like You
It also helps to remember that you’re unique, bringing you very own set of gifts to this planet. No one can do your job, no one can make your contribution, no matter how insignificant you may think it is. If you are scared to socialise, tell yourself that your presence and words are just as important valuable as the next person’s.