Silly Poem – Clumsy Klutz’s Morning

Clumsy Klutz’s Morning is a silly poem for anyone with two left feet. Sometimes, everything goes wrong. But how gives a sh*t???

Clumsy Klutz’s Morning

 Tumbled out of bed the wrong side
on to my big behind
slipped in the shower 
banged my head

jelly legs turn the stairs
into a bumpy slide
trousers torn / wait, hold on!
strong coffee will see me through

the universe is having a laugh
the jar of black stuff's empty
the curdling milk kicks last night's dinner
straight into projectile resurrection

time-ticking, panic-stricken
plus vomit stench and stains
push me on all fours back up the stairs
the shower water now cold / of course

Will scrubbing with soap
kill the clumsy klutz dead
I wonder out loud and burst into song 
O Sole Mio
Walked into the office
smelling like roses
only five minutes late
not bad for a clumsy klutz

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